Camp Fever
by Rogue Wildmage
Summary: The consequences of a drunken bet force Neal and the rest to do some pretty crazy things. Will they be expelled from page training? What does LW put in his mystery stew? And is Kel to young for Neal after all?…KELNEAL


**-CAMP FEVER-**

Yay! New story! I quite like this one; it's much funnier than my others. But it will be romantic towards the end, Kel/Neal of course. Just a few comments before we get started:

- The fic is set on the pages second year camp. I know that this camp does actually happen in the book, but I'm just going to pretend it didn't. This means that Kel, Merric and Neal are in second year, Owen is in first year, and Cleon is in fourth year.

- I am sorry for the apparent exclusion of other friends of the pages, such as Esmond, Faleron and the prince, but they're just TOO DAMN BORING!!!!!!

- I'm sorry if you think that the everyone is OOC in the first chapter, they're meant to be drunk, and they never get drunk in the book, so I have no reference point.

_**-Prologue-Truth or hic Dare?-**_

Nealan of Queenscove regarded the three boys standing next to him with the same mock severity with which they regarded him. It seemed that they too, found this whole situation hilarious. Then again, at this point even hilarity was hilarious. The natural high of being up too late, combined with the effects of far too much ale than was really good for anyone - let alone a group of teenagers - had made everything funny to the point where, even if the stump had walked in and exiled them all from Tortall, they would have died laughing before they could move one step.

In fact, none of them had even thought about considering anything that could be even vaguely regarded as important. Their reputations for instance, penalties for the theft of ale, or how the hell they were going to leave on page camp tomorrow with a hangover...

"So, hic Owen" Cleon slurred. "Truth or hic dare?"

"Hehehehehhe!" Merric giggled. Up until tonight he had been naïve to the effects of ale and therefore was probably the worst affected of the assembled group. "You have a funny name! Owen! Heheheheheheheee!"

Neal laughed along with his friends. Who would have thought such a stupid game could be so unbearably funny? But then, who would have thought he would have got up the nerve to raid the stumps personal ale stores? Neal smiled to himself and took a swig from the uncorked bottle beside him. This was the life.

"Ohhhh I think a dare would be quite hic jolly right now" Owen giggled

"Hahahhahahaaha!" Merric cackled, laughing so hard he was rolling around on the ground "You said 'Jolly' that's SUCH a stupid word"

"Ok" giggled Cleon "I dare you to...to..." with this, Cleon broke into hysterical fits of laughter so that the others had to wait for several long minutes while he took a swig of ale, and caught his breath, eventually he came out it "I dare you to smash that ale bottle over your head"

Neal burst into fits of laughter. Smash an ale bottle! Over your head! The ale would go all over you! Not to mention you'd have to smack it against your head pretty hard to even make a dent in the glass, let alone completely smash it! Owen could do himself permanent brain damage! But at that moment, to Neal, the idea was the funniest thing in the world. This whole night did. If the stump caught them they could be kicked out of their training without a second thought! Kicked out? Kicked out! What in the world could be funnier!

In fact, Neal was so unbelievably out of it that not only had he failed to notice the danger the boys were in from the stump, but he had also barely stopped to consider the whereabouts of his only female friend. He knew that she had been around before...he wondered briefly where she had disappeared to before deciding he didn't really care. He was in too much of a good mood...In fact, he couldn't remember ever having this much fun with his page friends since well...since ever. It wasn't fair! There should be more moments like this! But instead there were exercises, classes, and gods-damned CAMPS.

'_Yeah, the camp should really be more fun' _he thought to himself _'I mean, we do get a couple of days off proper training, we should really make the most of it' _he reasoned _'Still, I guess its impossible to have any real fun with the damned stump always hanging around'_

Then suddenly it hit him. Why worry about the stump? They could make their own fun, couldn't they? Do stupid things? Have moments just like this one?

"Hey!" he said, interrupting the conversation he had recently tuned out of, something about Owen and a possible concussion, with lots of giggling involved. All the others turned to listen to Neal; obviously Owens health wasn't as important to them as he liked to think. "Who'd like to sign up for some hic more fun?"

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Meanwhile a certain female page was not feeling much different to any of her male classmates. In fact, she wasn't acting much differently to them either, except of course that she wasn't playing truth or dare. She'd already asked Lalasa, but apparently servants weren't meant to engage in such childish activities. So, instead, she was forced to resort to destroying her rooms, and hoping that sheer desperation would help Lalasa come out to her shell.

"My lady I really don't think..." Lalasa stuttered, not wanting to scold her employer, but certainly not wanting to clean up the mess she was making either.

"Hehehehehe" Kel laughed, knocking over a row of her Yamani cat figures. "I like ale, it's so scrummy" she sang, so out of it now she couldn't register that the rest of the palace was probably fast asleep, "It makes my brain, go all FUUUUUUZZZZZZZYYYY"

"My lady!" Lalasa hissed, scared now "The rest of the palace is asleep, you should really..."

"I like Ale. It sooooo..." Kel sang softly, swaying drunkenly "sooooo..."

Lalasa glanced over at Kel worriedly. She wasn't acting like herself, but then she was drunk. How she could have got her hands on any kind of alcohol was not for Lalasa to say, but she was fairly sure that a certain group of boys may have had something to do with it.

'_I suppose it could be worse' _she thought to herself _'they could all be here now, all drunk, making a scene or...' _her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Kel's head hitting the floor.

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"I don't know about this hic Neal" Cleon mused. He had been the last one asked to sign, partly because he was the most likely to back out._ Nothing like good old fashioned peer pressure to get what you want!_ Neal mused. "I mean" Cleon tuned back in as Cleon continued, "what if the stump catches us? We could get hic kicked out"

"Hahahahahahhahahaa!!!!" laughed Merric – Neal was beginning to wonder if ale was all he had taken that night – "You said 'stump'! What a stupid..."

"Oh, will you friggin shut up Merric!" Neal hissed, a large amount of his earlier good mood having evaporated a while back when he had been dared to belly dance up and down the palace corridors, and had bumped into Ulane on her way to 'visit a friend'. _'Friend' my ass _he thought _who visits their friends at three ion the morning? _"The stumps gonna hear us! Do you want to get caught?" turning to Cleon, he was just as sharp tempered "Look, if you don't want to sign, its your own loss, we'll all be having fun while you're sitting on your own in the mud, dying of boredom! Make hic a choice Kennan."

Cleon appeared to consider his options for a moment; however Neal knew that it was really all just an act to fool his friends. Neal's own brain felt like it was wrapped up in a large and partly suffocating blanket, so he doubted Cleon was really in the mood to do any considering at all. Let alone about anything as trivial as possible expulsion from page training. _Oh give up the acting game and sign already_ he thought, attempting to establish a psychic link with his friend. Oddly enough, it seemed to work. Cleon picked up a pen, and signed his scrawly signature with a flourish. _Sure, he didn't get it completely on the line _Neal though to himself, watching over Cleon's shoulder _but its good enough to prove to him later that he did actually sign it. _Neal smiled to himself. His first rational thought in hours. Maybe he wasn't as drunk as he thought.

Neal looked down at the contract he had just convinced three of his friends to sign. He once again reread the badly worded conditions and appallingly spelled rules. _Nope, _he thought to himself. _I'm exactly as drunk as I think I am. _

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Soz bout the whole hic thing, they were meant to have lil stars roudn them but mah comp stuffed, soz bout dat...more when I have time! Reviews will help persuade me to FIND the time!


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